Anxiety not welcome here

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6

"An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up." Proverbs 12:25

So....confession is good for the soul, right? Well, here it is. We have been in the adoption process since February of this year. We are waiting to bring home our son. He is four years old. He lives in Ethiopia in an orphanage and has been there for year. This is not our first adoption. We've walked this road twice before. Overall, this time around has been an uneventful process simply because we knew what to expect and entered with no expectations of timetables and recognized that there would be bumps. There always are :)

Since I have the privilege of walking the adoption journey with lots of families through our ministry at church I tell people everything I just typed. I tell them all the time. I believe that God is in control, has our family's plan in His hands, and most importantly....uses the adoption journey pre- and post- to sanctify us. That is His purpose for us. Sanctification.... to bring glory to His name.

So, the question is, does sanctification occur when everything goes according to our plan? The answer is no. I should let you all know that nothing terrible is happening in our process. Our travel dates are just not coming on my timeline. Imagine that.....people in Ethiopia aren't asking my opinion on how this whole thing should work I don't get. I try with all my might to control the rest of my life. Why isn't anybody over there listening? I hope that you are catching the dripping sarcasm here. Pruning away the garbage in my life is necessary.

Yesterday, after heart palpitations over not knowing what our next few weeks are going to look like, I lost it. My poor agency (who happen to be dear, dear friends of mine) heard the anxiety. They endured the tears and the irritation. They were patient and kind. They didn't give me the answers I wanted to hear, but they pointed me to the One who knows the answers. The final statement I heard was "If God wants to slow this down or speed this up, He will. All for His glory." She wasn't trying to make me feel better or worse. She was simply telling me what I already know.

And so, today, even though I know nothing else, I will trust in Him. He loves our family more than me. That doesn't mean that I might not have steps back and cry some more, but I want to honor my Father who loves me and who has had every day of our son's life planned before the beginning of time. He knows our son intricately. God's plans will not be thwarted.

"But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, "You are my God." My times are in your hands." Psalm 31:14-15a


"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Jeremiah 17:7-8

Father, bring him home in Your perfect time. Please protect him and our family while we are waiting to be together under the same roof. Give him caregivers who love him and snuggle with him. Allow his belly to be full of healthy foods. Help him to be warm in the cool evenings and sleep soundly. Prepare his heart for becoming our son. Prepare our family here for a new brother. Please do not let the enemy have any victories in our lives or in this process. Help us to bring glory to your name as we attempt to wait with grace and mercy. May we honor YOU with our lives. May we always bless Your name.